10,374th Day of the Rest of My Life (but whose counting)

Electroconvulsive therapy (formerly know as "electroshock" therapy) has helped individuals find hope at a time when life feels hopeless since the 1930's. On September 19th I have a consultation to begin a series of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatments. This will not be my first time receiving treatments, but it has been 8 years since my first experience with ECT. 8 years ago I was 19 years old, on disability and receiving ongoing ECT treatments. After my treatments I slowly began to notice things like I wanted to get a job and enroll in school. Things I didn't imagine myself doing. ECT was not the only reason I improved, it was the boost that I needed to be able to try.

Here I am 8 years later needing ECT again. In a way it feels like it will be the first time because I am such a different person now. For the last 2 years especially we (my mind and body) have reached a depletion of resources and crossed a few wires along the way. My brain has tangled itself again and the effects of medication have become only a dull thud inside of my skull. ECT is a decongestant for the brain (figuratively speaking). My brain needs to get some help breathing so that it can eventually grow new, healthier connections that will help regulate my moods and change my life.

Something that is different from my experience 8 years ago is research experience. For the last 5 years I have been doing research in cognitive neurobiology and genetics to find a better understanding of being human.  This time when I do ECT I am going to do it right. To quote Matt Damon in The Martian "I'm going to have to science the shit out of this". This time I know that the effects are real. I am going to keep my mind stimulated for the 4-5 weeks I will have off of work for the treatments. I am going to track my progress (with the help from worksheets I am making for my family and girlfriend to fill out) and focus on expanding my mind for new ways to perceive living.

Today was a (probably disjointed) introduction to my blog. Something that I want to add is that my goal is to use this blog as way to track my memory, moods, and other changes that will hopefully be starting in a month or so.

Thank you to whoever reads this out there in the blog universe. If you have experience with ECT, want to learn about ECT, or consider ECT barbaric please share your thoughts! In fact, everybody share your thoughts it doesn't really matter. Electroconvulsive therapy needs to have more people sharing positive experiences and until then it is just so so important to start a conversation. Even though it has been around for more than 50 years ECT is still considered a miracle of psychiatry. Today the procedure is safe and effective for many people. We need to break down the stigma in any way we can.

Future blogs will include my personal story, the journey through this series of treatments, technical details about the ECT procedure, academic research findings, and various ranting blah blah blah.